Close Encounters of the Hollywood Kind

By: Dylan Sharek
Posted In: Opinion

So I get home from school, work, or errands one day (I have no idea where I was and I guess it was probably Nov. 1, 2, or 3) and walk upstairs.

“Did you see the letter we got?” my roommate asks.

“No.”

“It’s in the bathroom downstairs.”

Curious location for a letter I think, but I go back downstairs, into the bathroom, expecting a noise violation or something equally horrible.

Instead: “The Walt Disney Motion Pictures Group is currently in production on the romantic comedy Dan In Real Life. Steve Carrell plays Dan Ashburn..On Wednesday, Nov. 8, 2006 we will be shooting scenes for the film at Jimmy’s Saloon..”

I nearly wet my pants. For months, I’ve been quoting Carrell’s character in the American version of the television show The Office (“Indians do not eat MONKEY BRAINS!”) to blank faces that have no idea what I’m talking about. He’s quickly become my favorite actor.

I suppose I should further qualify why I’m about to pee myself. Jimmy’s Saloon is, quite literally, in my backyard.
******

A little less than a week later, small moving trucks start to arrive in the parking lot that my house and Jimmy’s shares. Over the next two days, the trucks get larger and I can barely see what’s going on outside my living room window. On Tuesday, the location manager comes over and buys our parking spots for $200 (we still haven’t gotten the check) for Wednesday, the day of shooting. When roommate No. 2 asks who’s going to be there, the location manager says, “Steve Carrell and Dane Cook.” For a college student whose life consists of quotes from 40 Year-Old Virgin and the stand up comedy king, things just got a whole lot better.

I have trouble sleeping that night.
******

I wake up early. Not really on purpose, but this morning roommate No. 1 is kind of loud getting ready for school and I’m looking for an excuse.

So I spend most of the morning faking doing homework on the couch, looking through the living room window, hoping to catch eyes with Steve or Dane. Except I can’t see anything because of all the trucks.

I go to class from 11:30 to 3:45.
******

Repeat the morning. Still nothing.

Screw it, I say, and essentially give up. I go to the fridge, grab some sausages, and head out the back door to light the grill. When I open the door and step onto the back porch, something catches my eye-commotion and one gigantic nose.

From my porch I can see them filming in Jimmy’s. Carrell is right there, literally 8 ft. from my backyard in Jimmy’s ‘patio’ area. However, like a really depressing movie, it rains.it pours, putting a damper on my excitement.

I text roommate No.2, who also watches The Office religiously, and he comes home immediately. We make it our mission to meet Carrell, which actually consists of us cooking sausages for hours in the freezing rain, frantically waving when Carrell comes outside from shooting a scene.

We may have gotten a wave back once, or Carrell may have been throwing away a water bottle. We’re still not exactly sure.

As daylight savings time took effect, our efforts became futile. The brown bath towel spray painted with “That’s what she said” and the frying pan stuffed with flaming paper (as luck would have it, our back porch light blew) were not cutting it. We finally gave up.

We didn’t meet the 40-year-old virgin or even see Dane Cook. But still, damn, we have one hell of a memory.