College, Careers and…Curfews?

By: Hannah Stracensky
Posted In: Opinion

Every final is completed, the classrooms are deserted, the last box is squeezed into the car, the dorm room looks empty and sad, the goodbyes are said and done, the gas tank is full, and now it’s homeward bound.

Every summer, students must make the adjustment from living independently to moving home.

Caitlin Letourneau, a junior and a Special Education and Elementary Education major, isn’t worried about the transition. Letourneau said that she does not find adjusting difficult at all.

The only problem she faces is having a curfew because she is used to living on her own.

“I come home whenever I feel like it, and I do what I please,” Letourneau said. To solve this problem, when she first gets home she talks to her parents about making her curfew more flexible.

Another junior, Nursing major Lauren Crepeau finds the return home a bit more difficult. Crepeau said moving back home is hard because it is a severe loss of independence. She has to clean her room, observe a curfew, and try to adjust to her family’s schedule.

Every morning at 5:30 A.M Crepeau gets up to work out, when the rest of her family is still asleep. She also eats dinner at a different time than her family does. Crepeau said that her family gives her funny looks when she follows her own daily schedule.

But the most difficult adjustment is sharing a room with her younger sister because when she left for college, her other sister took her old room. Crepeau also has trouble keeping in contact with her college friends. She said her winter friends are her college friends and her summer friends are her high school friends.

Elizabeth Minifie, a counselor at Salve Regina University, said that students often have trouble moving home because of the independence they learn when living away. Over the course of a year, a student can change a lot and mature. Since parents are not around to see their child grow up, when they come home, they treat them as they once were.

Minifie says that curfew is usually the biggest problem and suggests that students should sit down with their parents immediately to tell them how they have changed, and how they need to be treated over the summer. Usually parents are reasonable and are willing to set down a new set of rules.

Levin Coburn, co-author of the book, Letting Go: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the College Years, said that if a parent talks to their son or daughter like an adult, the student will have a better reaction and understand that their parents just really care about them. “If parents approach the student in an adult-to-adult fashion, the student will be much more receptive,” Coburn wrote in the book.

Minifie said that nowadays, adjustments are easier because communication has become convenient with cell phones, e-mail, and IM. Parents can easily contact their child and students can likewise contact their parents. Minifie said she remembers when her daughters were in college and getting a call from them once a month was perfectly acceptable. Now parents are more informed about what their child is up to.

According to the College Parents of America website, parents of college students talk to their children two to three times a week.

But moving back home is still particularly hard on freshman because their high school friends have changed and they are not sure if they are still friends.

All college students can be stressed over the summer because they have the time to think and stress about money, a career, and grades. Parents have to realize the stress their children are feeling and support them.

Reuniting with siblings can be either really great or a power struggle. Many times siblings grow closer when they have four months break from each other. Other times resentment is felt by the younger sibling when their older sister or brother comes back. The younger sibling may have taken the place as the oldest and will have a hard time adjusting to having their older sibling back.

Minifie also notes sometimes home can be a stressful place, especially for students whose parents are divorced. “They (the students) need to sit down with each parent and make them understand that they can’t be split in half,” Minifie said. Most problems can be solved by communication and this one is no exception.