Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: A Single Girl’s V-Day Guide

By: Kate Howard
Posted In: Opinion

Feb. 14.

To some, this day represents an expression of love marked by candy, flowers, romantic dinners and even hopes of a proposal.

But, those are the girls who are happily dating, even in love, a beautiful love that is both requited and satisfying. If you are one of those girls, I am happy for you, and you needn’t read any further. This article is not for you.

This is for the girls who think of Feb. 14 and start to feel sick even before eating that whole box of candy their mom so thoughtfully sent. This is for the girls who are trying to get back on the proverbial dating horse, but the I-just-got-bucked-off-the-last-one wound is still too fresh. This is for the girls who can’t remember when the last time was that they even saddled up.

The girls that can’t stand Valentine’s Day.

We call it a Hallmark holiday, a marketing ploy, a chance to revel in our singleness because, man, thank God we don’t have to be one of those corny couples making out and making everyone else self-conscious. Who even likes PDA anyway? Who really likes those conversation hearts after that time in the 4th grade when the smelly kid gave you the Kiss Me heart and thought it really worked? What’s the point to saturating our markets with candy, cards and little stuffed bears reminding us of romantic shortcomings?

Valentine’s Day won’t go away because we all want love. We’ve all had a taste of it, and sometime it ends sooner than we hoped. We see what our relationships could’ve been, what our friends or parents or even grandparents have, and we want it for ourselves. But, today is certainly not the day I’m going to wax poetic.

So what are single (or newly single) girls to do with this disdainful day? I know what we should not be doing: pining over lost loves or fantasizing about a year we’ll actually get that perfect day and perfect boyfriend. They’re both a myth.

For starters, avoid the songs that remind you of that lost love. Swaying to sappy music with a bag of popcorn and a box of tissue will not help. Trust me. Suggestions instead: “I Will Survive,” the eternal and official single-girl power song; “Survivor,” that Destiny’s Child song you always wanted to bump in your car but were too embarrassed; anything Alanis Morrisette. She’ll remind you that no matter how messed up you feel, you cannot possibly be the most messed up girl in the world. Alanis earned that title long ago.

There is the always the old single-girls-only standby. I’ve participated in these parties more than once, but beware: they can be one heck of a pity party. Misery loves company, but maybe this year, dropping the misery could be beneficial. Look at the long-term effects of one of these parties. You get together with your girls, consume your daily intake of calories in the first tub of cookie dough and drink away your sorrows.

Unfortunately, your sorrows might come back after that third margarita and your calories may return threefold on your hips, thighs and butt. Does that really make you feel better?

If the answer is yes, go on partying like the rock star you are. Otherwise, use this girl get-together not to communally gripe, but to remind you of why you get together in the first place; you have some really amazing friends.

You may not have a man right now, but who really cares?

Take a good long look at your friends, many of who probably ate, cried and held the tissue box with you through your last breakup. Take a look at that really stupid Valentine with Snoopy on it and the box of chocolates your parents sent you because they really care.

You may not be in love, but you definitely aren’t without.