Daring to be Different in a Cookie Cutter World

By: Mary Grace Donaldson
Posted In: Opinion

Be a freak. Being cool is overrated.

Most wise advice I’ve ever heard from a Facebook bumper sticker. Life experience tells me that being “cool” is really and truly not everything that most of the mass media (i.e. shows like “Jersey Shore”) makes it out to be.

Not all of the mass media, though.

I just finished watching two interviews with the infamous Lady Gaga, one with Oprah and one with Barbara Walters. Gaga has no interest in being “cool,” but only wants to be herself. It appears to many onlookers that Gaga is an attention-seeker, media whore, in the business just to shock people.pick your adjective. Not saying that I don’t get it, because I do. But I believe that’s not Gaga. She’s not the next Britney; she is so much better than that. She actually sung without lip-syncing on her Oprah appearance. But aside from her astounding, intense, passionate performances, she is so much more than that. She’s a hero for misfits.misfits like me, who thought they would never have any business living in a world chocked-full with social conventions that went against everything we ever thought was good and right.

In both interviews Gaga discussed what a “freak” she was growing up and how her art has helped her to find a safe haven being whom she wants to be, creating what she wants to create.

Gaga is not the only media enterprise celebrating the “freak.” In a much different venue, the overnight success of “Glee” promotes listening to your heart, really learning who you are and who you want to be without conforming to societal pressures. As much as the character of Rachel can be a conceited brat, she knows what she wants, and she won’t let what her peers think of her stop her. She struggles with wanting to be the cheerleader, but always finds her way back to who she really is (annoying as that person may be.then again, she couldn’t possibly be as annoying as the cheerleaders are).

I admire those people. I look up to Lady Gaga, who despite the media frenzy around her due to her statement based outfits and the rumors of her bisexuality, continues to stay true to who she is. While Rachel from “Glee” is just a character, she wants to sign her name with a gold star next to it because she believes in her talent and her craft. It’s not hurting anyone. If she wants to do that, so be it.

In spite of some of the media’s growing acceptance of us “freaks,” it’s still a jungle out there for those of us without international celebrity status. The media’s Teen Queens still expect us to uphold an unreasonable ideal. At a more local level, walk into the Newport Starbucks on any Saturday afternoon, and you’ll find a gaggle of middle to high school age girls who are all wearing the same chestnut Uggs. Now I’m not saying that if you don’t fit the mold you’re automatically going to be harassed everyplace that you go. I’m also not saying to disregard fashion trends; I own two pairs of Uggs myself. But what I am saying is this: acceptance isn’t something to be taken for granted. And it should be. There is no need for acceptance, even if you don’t agree with someone’s interests or behaviors, to be in such short supply. There is no reason for Lady Gaga to ever say that she felt like a “freak” because those around her made her feel that way. As long as no one’s getting hurt (and that’s a very, very different story).essentially, folks, at the risk of sounding cliché: love your neighbor.

I sure don’t fit the mold; I don’t ever want to. That sixth-grade shadow of who I used to be longed to be like everyone else, but I never want to be that person again. I raise questions because I genuinely care about their answers. I work hard at what I do and I’m extremely proud of it. I know I’m different, and there were times that I felt that I didn’t belong in this conventional, superficial world. I follow a religion that gets a bad rep, I turn in all of my work on time, I admire my professors enough to embarrass them all, and I know all of that, among other things, makes me stand out from other people in my age group. There are times when I wish we all stuck out, that we all dared to be different, that we were each so different that we were the same in that we were united in being different.

I am united with the majority of my close friends in just that way. I have friends who are members of the LGBT community, friends who I have watched make their Bat Mitzvah, friends from other countries, friends who live in cyberspace and nowhere else. I know psych majors, art majors, business majors, music majors, politics majors, and education majors. I have friends who speak in movie quotes and friends who keep their noses buried in their pleasure reading books. I hang out with go-getters and couch potatoes-the moral of the synopsis? I don’t agree with most of them. I don’t share a lot of their views and we don’t come from similar backgrounds. Some of their views even go against my Catholic beliefs. We don’t dress the same; we don’t listen to the same music, and we live, in some cases, in different states and speak with different regional dialects.

But I love them all for who they are. I accept them as wonderful, kind, caring human beings. And.they accept me too. I can assure you, we’re not hurting ANYONE.

We are still, even into some of our late teens and early twenties, tormented for being ourselves. I didn’t use the word “criticize” here for a reason; sometimes, criticism can be good and helpful. When I say “tormented,” I mean that I hear sneaky giggles when I answer a question in class. I mean that two friends of mine who are gay were made to feel uncomfortable by roommates. I mean that one of my high school age friends is never taken seriously because she is very overweight. I mean that another friend of mine has even been made to feel like an outsider by her own parents because she is just not “girly” and “conventional.” We still fight the fight, every day of our lives. And we’re not giving up.because we don’t want to simply be “cool.” We want to be real.