Man of the Year Crowned in Bazarsky

By: Jordan Quilty
Posted In: Campus News

Salve Regina students gathered in O’Hare on Oct. 2, 2009 to witness “Man of the Year,” a pageant event involving representatives from nine campus clubs. The time passed quickly as we were teased with glimpses of contestants scrambling “backstage” in frilly, barely-there outfits. Eventually, entrance was granted and the crowd rushed to claim decent seats.

Robbie Printz graced the evening with his comedic performance that many freshmen were familiar with from summer orientation. His fast-paced routine and audience involvement kept everyone in high spirits. As Printz introduced the individual contestants, the audience’s eyes were blessed with a variety of fashion findings parading towards the stage. Costumes ranged from kitten t-shirts to pink lace tutus, and even a pirate made his way down the aisle.

After the competitors strutted their stuff in the most ridiculous attire, it was time for the swimsuit portion of the evening. The judges were faced with hairy legs, washboard abs and a severe lack of tan for the most part. Ryan Theroux ’10, president of the Salve Regina Student Government, sauntered up the stairs sporting fluorescent flippers. Rob Saponto, a sophomore from Connecticut, filled the room with a sweet coconut aroma, lathered in some degree of SPF. If this pageant were hosted by People magazine, the Best Beach Body award would be given to Owen Murphy, a sophomore, modeling a skimpy cheetah bikini, complete with glitter and matching heels. At this point, it was too soon to decide who the true Man of the Year could be, so the show continued to the talent segment.

Prior to the event, Joseph Errico, a senior, spoke about how he was more shocked than excited to compete in the pageant; he was spontaneously nominated by his fellow Philosophy Club members. Although he had participated in sports like ice hockey, soccerand baseball, Joe was clueless as to which one of his talents he would present to the judges on this fateful night. This explains why a majority of the audience was taken completely off guard with his “singing wine glass” act. Dressed up somewhat like Dracula behind a table of a variety of drinking containers, Joe showed the judges what he was made of. Other talents were less unique, but still highly entertaining. Ray Zulauf, a senior marketing major, interpretive danced stunningly, using home-made ribbons to fully express the deeper meaning of his routine. Vin Testa ’11 impressed the audience with his 16 years of tap-dancing. Other performers showed off their musical talent, particularly Alex Zarlengo ’11, who redid Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face.” With all this talent permeating the lecture hall, the judges obviously had to see more in order to come to a verdict.

Ryan Hurley ’11 provided the musical entertainment while the contestants prepared for the formal wear part of the evening. He impressed the audience by covering the Goo Goo Dolls and playing an original song. Afterwards, the men once again strutted down the Bazarsky stairs, stopping by the judges’ table, or for Matt Maynard ’11, standing on the judges’ table. Looking sharp in suits provided by Viking Tuxedo, the students were individually interviewed by Printz using information they submitted before the show. We were lucky enough to hear their favorite childhood memories of bed-wetters, potty mouths and fraternal twins. Testa’s dialogue was cut short by a Kanye-fashioned interruption, by Maynard who claimed to be a “fine young gentlemen.” However, that was a decision to be made by the judges.

The final question was asked, and the judges came to a unanimous conclusion as to who the 2009 Salve Regina Man of the Year would be. After much anticipation, Murphy was crowned king, winning a $300 travel voucher and $250 for his club, Stagefright. He was followed closely behind by Edwin Mutanguha ’11 and Testa. Overall, this function was a riot. Anyone who didn’t attend missed out on a perfect opportunity to laugh at the expense of their peers and discover hidden talents and traits. Oh, and the best performance of the “Single Ladies” dance America has ever seen.