By Brooke Biolo –
When kissing someone is in plans, do you “ask first or go for it?” This is what Mike Domitrz asked of Salve students on Wednesday, Oct. 5. Following the anticipated response of, “just go for it,” Domitrz began his interactive lecture to illustrate to students that asking permission could be the best thing to do.
Domitrz spoke about how it is impossible to read a person, especially in the case of college parties, when the person being interacted with is a complete stranger. He called on audience members to illustrate the scene with role playing games, which kept everyone engaged in the lecture.
The tone of Domitrz’s lecture changed very quickly when he told the audience a call he received while in college, from his mother regarding his older sister, who had just been raped.
The audience grew silent at the mention of such a hardship. He continued to reassure the audience, saying she has made a great life for herself, listing achievements. He made a point of telling the audience that any survivor of sexual assault is a powerful and amazing person. Domitrz encourages the audience to open the door to someone in their lives and ask if they have ever been assaulted in any way. Domitrz stressed that, “Twenty-seconds can change a life,” to either end sexual assault or to allow that person to talk about what has happened.
Domitrz did not only focus on asking permission before intimacies, but called all students to action. He asserted that simply standing by in a situation where someone may be taken advantage of, such as a college party, puts the viewer in the wrong. “If you see something wrong being done to another human being in front of you, it’s your business,” says Domitrz.
Domitrz began speaking at his own college, the University of Wisconsin, in 1991 after his sister’s rape. His goal was to prevent further suffering. His “date safe” project began in 2002 and he has spread his word over four continents today. When asked if he had any final words about the presentation, he simply continued to press, “Ask first; open a door.”
